Songs of a SOLO-Man

God says in Genesis that it is "not good for man to be alone."

However, He isn't speaking into signless; he's speaking into loneliness.

Paul, in Ephesians 5, says that marriage is a good thing. God designed it to reflect Christ and the church. It’s a covenant, a calling, a partnership for a purpose.

But Paul also turns around in 1 Corinthians 7 and says, “I wish y’all would remain single.”

"Wait a minute, Paul. You’re telling me marriage is good, but singleness is better?"

Here’s what Paul is really saying: there’s a grace for wherever you are. Some people have the grace to be married. Some have the grace to be single.

There Is Grace for Your Race

If you are not content with your life right now, it may be because you're running the wrong race or running out of your lane.

If you’re single, please understand - God has given you a grace for this season. And for some of you, this isn’t just a season, this is a decision. It’s a calling. It’s a grace God has placed on your life.

If you are single, that does not mean you are waiting on something. You are not incomplete. You are not in pre-marriage. You are whole. You are complete in Christ.

Singleness does not equate to Loneliness.

Marriage doesn’t cure loneliness, purpose does.

God doesn’t create married people, He creates single people, which tells me this:

God wants us to build FOUNDATIONS before we start building HOUSES

God builds on foundations before He builds houses. Wise men, we’re told, build on rock, not sand – there will be storms coming into your future marriages, but the stability of the house depends on the quality of the foundation.

The winds of life will blow, the rain will fall, and if all you had was chemistry instead of character, your marriage will wash away like a sandcastle at high tide!

You can’t build on brokenness.

You can’t lay bricks on insecurity. 

You can’t establish a home on identity issues. 

You can’t set up a family on a heart that’s still healing from its last heartbreak. 

1) WORSHIP

Adam was in Eden before he met Eve. 

Eden means “Delight” or “Enjoyment.” It was a place which symbolised great fertility and creation; it was an environment of growth. It was a place of continual relationship between God and humanity. Spiritually, Eden symbolised a place of worship. 

Eden was a place of worship.

Before there was Eve there was an environment.

Adam found Eve whilst he was worshipping God in Eden. 

Adam didn’t realise he needed Eve because he was so whole, so fulfilled and because he had a posture of worship. 

We all have this innate “longing for belonging.” Some longings only God can satisfy – you won’t find it in a relationship or a marriage! Some married couples are looking for their spouse to meet a certain need but,

You can’t look to a human being to fulfill a divine need! 

Abraham had a wife called Sarah who he loved deeply, and she was so beautiful that on 2 occasions Abraham had to pretend she wasn’t his wife in case people tried to kill him for her!

Abraham had a great wife but longed to have a son so bad. Sarah couldn’t provide a son, that is, Sarah couldn’t fulfill all of his needs.

Only God can fulfill Gods promises!

When only God can meet a need, you need to position yourself in worship and trust him! 

Worship takes the focus off our circumstance and on to God.

Abraham though did it himself. Abraham tried looked for a human being to fill a divine need. He was promised a child. He had no child so he tried to fulfill a promise only God could fill. 

There was another beautiful lady in the vicinity and her name was Hagar from Egypt. Hagar could offer him a shortcut to his destiny, Hagar wouldn’t make Abraham wait and so Abraham went ahead, and impregnated Hagar from Egypt and she had Ishmael.

God gave him Israel.

Abraham birthed Ishmael. 

But when we cease to worship God we’ll begin to worship something else!

The fulfillment of your longing, of your desire is in EDEN not in EGPYT!

The worst thing you can to if you’re going through the desert right now (spiritual barrenness) is try and enter into a relationship – people see a mirage in the desert. 

My concern is that a lot of single people keep getting into illegitimate relationships, going around in circles to satisfy a longing that only God through His promise can. And so we leave the parameters of Eden and head for Egypt and find a Hagar who is nothing more than a substitute. 

“There is a time for everything….” Ecclesiastes 

“My time is in your hands.” Psalm 31 

Get in Eden, you’re more likely to find fruit in the garden than the desert! 

We need to WORSHIP.

2) WORKIT

2:15, “The LORD God took the man and put him in the Garden of Eden to work it and take care of it.”

Listen now fellas,

Before Adam had a woman he had a job!

The Hebrew word for “work” in this verse doesn’t mean work like we’d imagine, it means “to cultivate” or, “to become.” God instructed Adam to become who he purposed him to be in the place of worship.

Adam knew who he was before he realised what he needed!

Before he met Eve, he knew who he was.

Singleness is a season about knowing who you are, it’s about having a clear understanding of your purpose – not waiting for someone to give you a purpose. Get a vision for your life! Discover, explore, adventure, laugh, have fun, study – find out who you are!!

“If you’re a nobody and you marry a nobody, nobody gets married.”

When Adam knew who he was, God sent Eve – listen to what God says, “I will make a helper suitable for him….”

Well for the man who doesn’t know his identity or purpose – help with what? When a woman doesn’t know what she can help with, she’ll help herself.

Marriage is a collision of two histories! It’s a collision of two destinies that merge and find a unity – you can’t ride off someone else’s destiny! 

Colossians 2:10 says, “You are complete in Christ Jesus.”

A relationship or Marriage will not compensate for a lack of wholeness!

When you know who you are, you’ll walk in a new boldness and confidence! When you’re walking in that from a place of worship and understanding your destiny you’ll be irresistible! There’s something so attractive in people who know who they are!

We’ve got to know who we are! 

Single people, we need to WORSHIP and we need to WORKIT

3) WORD

God said to Adam, “Stay away from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil.” Adam received instruction from God. Instruction from God is the word from God.

Adam had the WORD before the WOMAN.

Never underestimate the power of the WORD!

We need to be people of the book!

Here’s the pattern; worship, workit and word – THEN “God says it is not good for a person to be alone.”

What person? The person in His presence, the person in His word, the person who knows who they are and whose they are! THAT person!